


misery is a butterfly

by openended



Series: Olivia Shepard [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Unexpected Visitors, post-Alchera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/openended/pseuds/openended
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannah does not deal with Alchera well. Wrex is accidentally there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	misery is a butterfly

Wrex is the one to finally get her to talk about it. Cry about it, technically, but he isn't about to blab that anywhere, even if she is Shepard's mom and they're all worried about her.

He's brought a Blasto vid, of all things, because she has enough food and he's seen the way the flowers have been pushed to the corners, ignored (and who's ever seen a krogan carrying _flowers_ anyway?). He's actually not here to talk about Shepard, just wanted to say goodbye before he heads for Tuchanka in the morning.

But Hannah's about had it with the way her daughter's crew has been hovering. They all have lives to get back to, better things to do than hang around the Citadel and make sure that she's still in one piece. Her rant starts with her not needing babysitters, and ends with a choked sob and _she's all I had left_.

The realization that _my daughter is never coming back_ hits her so hard she physically staggers backward.

The strength goes out in her legs and she finds herself unexpectedly on the floor. She closes her eyes and tries to take a deep breath to center herself, regain some control, but it catches in her throat and turns into another sob. One leads to another and another and all the tears she's held back since Anderson woke her up at the crack of dawn three weeks ago come pouring out and she's powerless to stop them. It takes her a moment to realize that the unearthly wail she hears is actually coming from _her_.

Wrex doesn't think, just lifts her up off the floor and carries her to the living room and sets her on the couch. She curls into herself, leaning her arms and head on her knees. He's never seen a human female look so small before. But he's seen this grief before, and knows that you don't leave a mother alone in this. Unsure of how humans handle things, he carefully sits on the couch beside her; close, but not touching.

She starts to reach for him, needing to touch someone, needing an anchor to keep her from drowning completely, but stops; some part of her remembers that he's krogan, and she doesn't know if comfort is even something krograns _do_. She pulls her hand back and starts to force herself to calm down; Liara's coming by tonight, she can hold it together until then. But she feels his hand on her shoulder, warm and heavy and _present_ , and she gives in and leans toward him.

She's not crying into his shoulder and he's not holding her, but it's the connection that she needs before she can truly let go, the assurance that if she starts to tumble off into the abyss like she nearly did after Mindoir, someone will be here to bring her back. They brought each other back after that hell. But her daughter's dead over a planet of ice and Wrex is here, and if Olivia trusted Wrex to watch her back when fighting husks and geth, Hannah supposes she can trust Wrex to keep her from falling.

Everything breaks.

For all he's seen krogan grieve for their stillborn children, he's never seen anything like Hannah Shepard grieving for her daughter. He wants to punch a hole in the universe for making anyone feel this way. He wants to punch another hole because he can't do anything about it. He patched up Shepard in the Mako, and gave her cover when she was about to do something _really stupid_ , and hauled all the way across the galaxy a few times to hunt down one turian, but he can't do shit for her mother right now. He keeps the rage in check and decides to find a bar tonight, maybe grab Garrus. They've both been itchy lately, they need a good fight.

Eventually, because even the most raw emotions become too exhausting, Hannah calms. There's nothing left inside of her, though she knows she's far from done. She remembers what it felt like after Mindoir. Mindoir was dull, blunt, pain in her chest. This is sharp and it digs into her skin every time she moves.

"How do you deal with it?" she whispers, hoarse voice breaking the silence. She wishes she could withdraw the question; too personal.

"I kill people for money," Wrex says.

She laughs, and it turns into a cough, so raw is her throat. "Not really an option for me."

"You took down four geth with a shotgun. You'd make a damn good merc."

Hannah manages a smile and wipes away a stray tear. "That was pretty cool."

Wrex takes a leap, and gently turns her to face him. "You need anything, you call me."

The others have made that offer too and she's assured all of them that she'll follow through, but has no intention of calling them because _she_ needs _them_. The look in Wrex's red eyes is so intense that she nods, agreeing. He's the only one who never told her that it would be okay, probably because he's the only one who knows it won't. She sniffs. "Did you bring a vid?"

He nods. "Blasto. Thought you could use the distraction."

"Yeah. I could."


End file.
